Kuakui aku memang cemburu
Setiap kali kudengar namanya kau sebut
Tapi ku tak pernah bisa
Melakukan apa yang seharusnya kulakukan
Karena memang kau bukan milikku

Kuakui aku merindukanmu
Meski ternyata tak pernah kau merindukanku
Tapi ku tak pernah bisa
Melakukan apa yang seharusnya kuinginkan
Karena memang kau bukan milikku

Reff :
Sesungguhnya ku tak rela
Jika kau tetap bersama dirinya
Hempaskan cinta yang kuberi

Semampunya ku mencoba
Tetap setia menjaga s'galanya
Demi cinta yang tak pernah berakhir

(Kejujuran hati yang tak mungkin dapat ku pungkiri)
(Keinginanku untuk kau tau isi di hatiku)

__________________________________________________________________

Ah Im so in love wif tis song... Kejujuran Cinta by KerisPatih... Simple yet so nice n meaningful... Despite knowing tat he doesnt belong in her heart, he will still b faithful to her n his love for her nvr end... awww!

Is there such ting called true love? I duno.. cos Im not a believer in love, love at 1st site or "maybe I n u r fated be in love, cos we bumped into each other often" kinda concept. My past failure in relationship has taught me to b much wiser n more cautios.... 9years of giving my all to him (except my virginity) it reali crushes my heart wen d love I was hopin on wen tumbling down.... Wasted my youth, my time, my efforts n sacrifises n esp money...Yet he got married to someone else, someone he knew for a mth... Sigh...It took me more than 2 years to heal. But Ive moved on; met a few poeple but yet d phobia still holds me back. Im juz so worried of getting my heart hurt n broken again...I guess it will take a real MAN to make me start believing in tis magic called "LOVE". A real MAN to make me fil d magic.

Sadat came over last nite and we share our tots n opinions... He's got a gerl who's so childish, attention seeker n worse, she's not deep enuf to b emotionally commited to him... Sigh... Sadat is always changing gf so nvr a prob for him... Then he popped tis out " Eh Jihan, u're turning 25 in a few days' time... better start finding a bf soon". haha... Easier said than done lar bro! Dun wori... I noe how to settle tis... Im not d kind who will juz date for d sake of dating... Insya Allah d rite one is out there for me... Juz a matter of time ;) Im positive! So chill ya peeps!

2day, me n Jana paid Kak Zila (Abg Jo Santai's wife) a visit @d hospital. She gaf birth to a baby gerl yesterday morning n she is superbly cute! Her name, Alya Kalysa. Fuyoo! Stylo giler! If Ive got a baby, it will b short n simple; juz a word... enuf to stick in ur head for eternity... hehe ;)

Later afta magrib, me, Janz, Mama n Ayah went over to Caca's place. Paklung wasnt ard so gotta skip his place. 2mrw, Im going to shop while d rest will b @ home... Abg Zai n Ayah's other kuzins r all planning to come over... So I better run! hehe... ;) But plans can change.. So wait till my 2mrw's entry.

Ok peeps, gtg.. Kinda tired.

Outz
JJ@2335hours, 28thOctober2006

And the 5 precious fannies i shall in turn smack with this survey :
ok Jana got me doin tis... So Im not sure who'll b next cos Ive yet linked peeps up... ;)

Juz got back from meeting d ladies, Kim (Xiao Bi) and Karen. Finally got a chance to meet them; chill, haf dinner 2gthr and juz tok nonsense... afta such a very long time! hehe... Thank u ladies! We are arranging to mit monthly before Kim started flying n Karen going off for her 2nd honeymoon.

Yeah Kim wana haf a change... from being an assistant flavorist to being with KK Pharmacy and now to SIA. She juz wana fly... I noe its gona b hard for her... cos Ive heard lotsa shits being a stewardess bt she juz gotta try... As for Karen, she happily married... N its almost 2 yrs into it! Happy for u!

We talked abt MEN, as usual... N finally we came to a conclusion tat MEN at any age is never matured! hehe... He can be 32 (juz like Carmen, Karen's hubby) yet so playful n childish! Haha Ive seen them (MEN) in all shapes, sizes n ages.. N yes, its sad but true... Boys will always be boys! But however, older can gif u d security, d xtra attention u wan etc. ... So as MEN gets older, they are like RED WINE... Experience n yummy... Haha... Tats their theory! So lets wait n c who'll b mine n c if he fits d bill like they've said...lol

I've sealed another deal for KRU Singapore... Juz waiting for it to be signed sealed n delivered. Alhamdulilah... If our company can hit at least SGD40k tis year, it will b fantastic! Norman will b so happy... I hope so ;)

Now gona shower... My stomach is so bloated!! Had lagsane, breadstick n honey chicken wings for lunch... Then for dinner; dimas wif bread, grilled mix which consist of lamb, beef, sausage n fries for dinner... Fuyoo! Sedap! Thank God for my great metabolism rate otherwise I'll end up like Queen Latifah instead of Paris Hilton! hehe...

Ok peeps!

Outz
JJ@2332hours, 26thOctober2006

Juz put my fone down afta chatting wif 1 of my bestest frend, Wak Dol. hahaha... Yes, weird but true... Tats his pet name we gaf him back in those days... Reminising on how we 1st met... Bumped into him @SP MacD's... He appeared as some1 very snobbish, hangs out wif only his TK gang... Then in d 2nd sem, wen his geng started to gain their PHD (poly halfway dropout) he shepishly started joining me n geng.. Known for his strong outspoken character plus his clowning ard, we gaf him Wak Dol... Yeah, initially there was 7 of us, but then slowly 1 by 1 started havin their own way cos we couldnt click... Then left me, Syamie n Wak Dol...Amazingly our frendship still stick till 2day... 9 strong years n more counting!!!!

Wak Dol....He's my 1st wedding planning customer... He's some1 who's so true, very frank and some1 u can count on... Many cant see eye to eye wif him cos he's vocal... But deep down he's a very nice guys...I did cried wen he got hitched last May... Ok not exactly cry, but juz a drop of tear or 2...

Aniwae, it has always been d tradition for us (me, him n Syamie) to call each other on either eve or 1st day of raya... So we chatted abt life n stuffs... Tis year it's no different... N kesian member kena keje... Pelan2 kayoh ah... hehehe:)

Syamie... He's d quieter one in d geng...But always very helpful... B it rain or shine, he's there...Wen he got his 1st car, he used to drive us ard Spore for mkn lar, late nite rides n many more activities... I haven been talking to him cos he's been so busy...So I called him on Raya's eve to haf a chat wif tis busy, tite schedule SHELL technician... hehe... So he finally revealed tat he's getting engaged on 5th Dec wif Fiza!!! Oh mi god! How time reali flies... Kinda sad lar... 1 best frend is already married n d other is planning his... But Im happy tat he's made d plan... Dari bwk anak org ke sana ke mari but taknak kawin... kesian kan... Sigh... Wen will it be mine??? Only GOD noes... I juz hope our frendship will remain depite d change in status... Even though no more long nite rides, travelling ard Spore to eat n try new food, but I hope we'll stand by each other juz like d old days... ;)

Aniwae, Im a lil tired... My eyes haf been irritation... Muz be d new lenses.. Gona complain to d sales assistant on Thurs... But despite tat, my Raya mood haf been fantastic... Juz paid Nek Manah n Tok Ayah a visit... Then wen to Auntie Aton's place n last stop, Mak Ngah's... All my mum's brothers came earlier d day... So my house was filled wif lil rascals n kuzins bitchin session... hehe... Btw Kak Ipa is back for a visit... Andrew is stuck in NY... Poor chap! I wana save enuf n pay them a visit on Xmas...She'll b gone tis Friday... Gona miss u sis...

I'll try upload some Raya pixs here in my next entry... Rmbr, Im still a blogspot virgin?? hehe...For those who send me well-wishes, people like Jim X-Factor, Vanessa n Vince Chong, my hommies @ KRU n all frends from all over... thks alot ya! Njoy ur holidays... Haf fun... N while u're blessed wif everyting, do not forget d less fortunates...

Lurve ya peeps!

Outz
JJ@0044hours, 25thOctober2006

2day I learnt 1 very valueable lesson... ie to appreciate life.. Not as if I dont. But after I visited Fauzie in d hospital earlier, it even makes me believe in appreciating life more... Never take tings or people ard you for granted and especially while you can, beribadah... Do lotsa of it... Solat and more!

Fauzie, my very 1st recoding artist, had his lungs collapsed earlier d day and was admitted to hospital. As if its not enuf, he's got a tube pierced into his lungs to create airway and tubes under his nostrils to provide clean oxygen... Its so sad to see him in tis condition... I wanted to cry but he is so strong tat he told me " Dun b like tat ah... Not as if Im dying..." Honestly, I juz hope he'll be fine... Get well real soon cos I wana see him in action... I'll pray for u my lil brotha! Afta seeing him in tis condition, I told myself tat I gotta learn to live my life, play my cards well and very importantly... not only seek HIS help wen you r in need... But to remember HIM always for HE is always there for u...

2mrw is last day of Ramadhan... How times flies! I managed to do 1 week of terawih and I feel good abt it... Raya tis year will juz b simple and minimalist...

Im gona do d cooking 2mrw... Soto ayam, rendang, sambal udang and serunding most prob... Mayb afta cooking all of them, I'll bring a pack for Fauzie for him to haf a feast since he'll be warded till next week... Raya in hospital... ;)

Btw I got myself a new hairdo... Short, sleek and rebonded... But someone got even better... A new black Z4 with tinted screen n red leather seats! Damn!!!! Wait till I get hold of it! haha... Speaking of tat, someting's weighin on my mind... D appointment letter tat came too soon! I'll let u guys noe in next few entry... As for now, my mind's all made up... Im gona go for it n juz let fate decide on everyting afta tat... hehe...

Ok peeps... I wana go shower and eat some more Indian rojak!! To all Muslims, Salam Aidil Fitri. Minal Aidil wal Fa Izin...

Outz

JJ@2340hours, 22Oct2006

Ye ha!!! Im over d moon!

I started d day very well... with Chelsea displaying superb football earlier 2day... N their 1-0 win over Barca means so much to them... Thanks Drogba!! He's juz excellent!

I had to pick Norman up from d airport @1045am. Then we headed for my boutique cos he was carrying 100copies of Cicakman OST to b distributed here n its so troublesome to carry his luggage ard... Then we headed to Wheelock Place to browse ard n kill time... Our 1st appointment is wif SURIA @1pm... N tis is my 2nd joy... I've sealed KRU Singapore very 1st deal which cost more than SGD10k! Pheeeeweeet!!! Awesome! Im so happy! N Norman is beaming... I mean I wana show him more of my credibility but since tis is d 1st yr, he's not expecting so much... BUt I juz wana do more!!!! So more deals for u!!!

2nd meeting is wif RIAS @Tras Street... N we got lost! My god! Ive not been to tis part of Spore.. Kuno jugak... hehe... Then next appointment is wif our distributor, Ian @Grand Hyatt... So ended juz nicely @6pm which leaves me an hour to entertain Norman... haha... Honestly speaking, he's a very superbly nice intelligent guy... Someone you can juz share and talk comfortably wif... So gerls, do consider! LOL...

Had our "buka" puasa @Straits Kitchen n so happened peeps from MDEC (formerly known as MSC credited company) were there... D whole bunch of Malaysians... Good networking rapport for us... ;)

3rd joy for me, when I told Edry abt Fauzie's success wif his composition, SELALU... Edry replied " Thank u for making it happen...I'll belanja u when Im in Spore nnt"... Phew! He appreciates it! Im so happy!

Honestly, Im happy wen people appreciates all d hardwork you do... Who does rite?? Then Norman came up wif a proposal... Me n my big mouth actually... hehe.. He wana me to b in KL for 3mths to learn abt how he runs d KRU ofis in KL... To follow him ard, meet people, clinch deals etc... More like on intership... I for sure am delighted!!! To b learning d ropes from someone who's so successful, sape tak nak? Betol tak?? Im gona take d opportunity... So I'll let u guys noe wen Im there k... hehe..

Ok peeps... Im gona juz keep smiling for d rest of 2nite... N hope tat more deals will b sealed! Insya Allah...;) Pray for me peeps!

Outz!

Wats up peeps? Juz checked and its been a few days since I last enter my last entry... Haven been so well... But today, Im feeling good! Not reali in my best condition but Im alrites...

Had a chat wif 1 of my gerlfrend yesterday nite... N d topic we talked still linger in my head till now... So I tot of penning it down and juz sharing wif u guys... She's been in and out of dating circle "Hey babe, now Im seeing tis guy..." and then next month, " Im now seeing tis new gorgeous guy..." which I dun understand y... I kept telling her, " Babe, date onli wen he is d one... wen he has d qualities" But to her, she will keep on dating till she find d One... N she kept telling me... " Its not wrong to date so many... Cos u wont noe till u date them darlin..."

Sigh...I guess different people has different strategy on dating... I duno... But I guess my style is more like, I onli date a guy if he has d qualities tat Im looking for... I wont juz date any Tom, Dick or Harry... Hmmm tat brings me back to a few years ago wen I last started to date someone and it ended up in a relationship... For till now, I dun happen to mit someone who fulfills my criteria...

My criteria of a guy is that he should be simple, intelligent, manly metrosexual, talented, hardworking and humorous... Ive met a few men in my jobscope... Tats y I believe tat my MR SMITH does exist... But to b found in Spore?? Nah... haven met any... Many r book smart... NUS scholar but he can be a jerk! (ops! but tats a fact!!) Others can be so full of themselves while some can be so fashionless... My god! Khairuddin Shahrom is onli guy who I fill got wat it takes to be a true Spore man... Tall, handsome, intelligent and yet so humble... So I guess more guys should look up to him ;) But sigh... he's taken!

Aniwae, I believe I will soon meet my Mr Smith... And for those who worried tat Ive not been dating... Dun worry... My style is find tat ONE, date and then settle down... No more going around Spore, tayangan perdana to everyone and tak jadi... (Been there done that!) So wish me luck ya!

As for you guys who are busy dating, hope you guys find your soul mate soon... Tat goes to u gerl frend... 1 ting I noe for sure, Janna has stop dating, for she found d One... Hope tings will work for them... For she's head over heels about him... Sein sein.. hehe...;)

Ok till then peeps... Gotta prepare some work... Norman is coming 2mrw for a day trip... Ive him list of meetings to attend, so gotta go wif him... Hope more business deals will come up after 2mrw meeting...

Till then... Outz!

Im feeling terrible! Thanks to Janna... she's spread d virus to Uncle Salmin then he spread to me n Mama... gosh! Its real bad... But despite tat, I manage to do someting Im very proud of... My very 1st terawih session... Yeah Ive always tell myself tat Ive gotta learn to b a better muslim... Not tat Im not... But some times u tend to forget and only seek HIS help wen u're in deep shit... N I dun want tat to happen to me... Insya Allah I'll make a practise to do it daily.

Love seemed to b d topic for d last 1 wk... lets recap..
1) Janna is forever missing Sein... forever has tis love for him... She even admitted tat she cried cos she missed him so badly... Gosh! where's d lion??? Y d sudden change??? Love can tame a tigress?? I juz dun believe it... But aniwae Im happy tat she's found someone who loves her ( I hope) But watever gerl, heed my advise... juz 70% in... D rest wen d matter gets more serios!

2) Firhan found d gerl tat he dreamt abt... Finally!!! So good luck to him!

3) Ahmad juz called it off wif a gerl tats so sick in d brain... Tis gerl, bukan nak cakap ape, but tak lawa n some more chubby kept telling him tat alot of guys r after her! OH MI GOD!!! Aku yang slim, not so bad looking r running out of suitors... N she claimed she got dozens of them... Sigh y is tis world so cruel?? hehe... Watever it is, Ahmad called it quits cos he cant stand it... Good for him.. Latest I heard he's got another date... kewl stuff!

4) My bestest frend, Wak Dol n Nis are still so very much in love... entering 2nd yr of marriage... I kinda miss them together wif Syam n d rest of budak2 SP Chem Eng...

Ok lar I cant write much.. Im having tis massive headache... Flu n sore throat... Gotta take med n sleep... till then

I woke up feelin a lil under d weather... Mayb its d hazy conditions... My eyes got irritated by it and my nose is so sentitif to dust... Even a hot shower couldnt make it go away. Thank God, Im not fasing today so I took my flu tablet.

As usual headed to d boutique and start work as norm. Mama got up early so she went wif me...Did d usual stuffs and then Norman called to check on whether Telinga Ke Tulang has been played on Mtv 2gtr wif Syuga's... Yes, it has been! So glad! Then he told me all d epsiodes for PTB are available. N tat juz makes my "feelin-unwell symptom" go away! haha... Im alil excited abt tis cos it my very 1st corporate deal for d company. I wana show him my capabilities and show him tat there's more I can do... Im so geared up! So next week he will b in town and tis deal will b sealed!

Its d 18th Ramadhan oredi... How times flies... Gosh in 12 days its gonna b Raya... follow by my 25th birthday and then Bali trip n d premier... Phew! And all you know, its gonna b end of year... Another year of being single... Sigh... Its not tat I wan too but... I dun wana bring tis up now... Too early for my new blog.

Aniwae Jana's sick again... Poor lil gerl... Hope she recovers fast... N I've been missing someone...Guess who?? Zain!!! Yeah while goin thru d pixs and suddenly missed him... Miss d Amet and Abg Azan too... Juz hope tis raya I'll b able to see them.

Ok lar its kinda late... Gotta go to bed...

Outz

Ladies and gentlemen... Welcome to my blogspot! Welcome to my life! Like my tagline haf put it simply... I tried to lead a simple life like Nicole and Paris! haha... How I wish at times! Aniwae life's not simple, no matter how u tried to live it.

Aniwae, Im a virgin blogger... Virgin ... definitely yes! To blogspot also Yes!! haha... My previous blog was elsewhere... Then it came to a point where I cant write about my true feelings, my surroundings and stuffs, thats when I realise I wanna shut tat site down n start creating a new blog.

Now I can carefreely write about my sis n her boyfrend, who is werking wif me in KRU. I cant write it b4 cos no one else noes abt it!!! So now finally I can write abt JANNA N MOHSEIN... phew! I can also write abt anyting tat I wan.. Abt d shts I went thru... D ups n downs in life...Aint tat kewl...

So I'll keep it simple and short for my 1st entry. Cant write much cos Im feeling bloated after having mee goreng and chocolate milkshake for buka. Now wanna head for d showers and then watch REMP-IT. Heard it's kewl stuff! Coming from Farid Kamil... Of cos its kewl... lol...

Ok peeps... Outz!

test....

Jihan

being perfectionist and meticulous

being independent

cooking for my loved ones (yes, I love to cook!)

carrying my own bag!

putting a smile on others

(It onli take a few seconds of ur life to lit up sum1's day... n if u manage to put a smile on tat person's face in d mrng, it could last him/her d whole day... My philosophy in life...)


WonderJanz
Janna Gorgeous
Adi
Pujangga Malam
Farhanah
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Irfa
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Isaac Voguelicious
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